Connections...connected

I've had several interesting discussions lately on the topic of connections. We of course live in a digital age where in a manner of seconds I'm speaking with someone half way across the world. The discussion I had with one person became rather personal, and at one point the individual revealed, "I have so many people I communicate with online, I have family members surrounding me, friends I meet fairly often...but I feel so empty". I approached the message one piece at a time starting with, I have so many people I communicate with online, and then went on to the other revelations this person made to me.

We all have the need to bond with others, to share intense experiences, and communicate at a level which is indescribable through mere words and can only be lived. We meet new people in the hopes of finding the perfect connection, one which will sate the deepest parts of ourselves. But I have yet to meet one single person who has found the perfect complement to themselves. There is a reason for this, but the subject is matter which must be explored at another time.

I've come to realize, connections happen on an energy level. Our thoughts carry an enormous amount of energy, and the experiences we choose to live are determined by our thoughts. For instance, if I'm having a bad day, then the whole damn world around me feels the energy I put out. On the other hand, if I'm having a great day, then people often respond positively to my thoughts. Well then...connections are what exactly?  Why do I feel connected to certain people more than others? I believe the answer is found in the very definition of the word connection. There is a force, or a thread, or a common denominator which unites every single human being on this earth and beyond. I am but one single link in a long chain. But the link which I am must not become separated from the chain, otherwise I become alienated and will have done so by my own actions.

I often share conversations with a woman who is incredibly unabashed and uninhibited. I truly cherish the communications we share. Without warning, she once blurted out, "The only time I've ever felt connected to anyone is when I was intimate with the people I love". So I asked why. She replied, "Because I actually feel an exchange of energy...an experience which goes far beyond words. But after, I still feel some level of emptiness". The discussion became intense, but we found no solution.

Then I made an acquaintance which by all accounts shook every part of my being and made me question every value, belief, and principle I had adhered to throughout all the years of my life. At one point she told me something which made it all clear to me. "The Light within you, is also the Light within me. We are one spark of the Divine, split in two, known as true soulmates. What you now share are kindred relationships with the people you encounter, and you will always feel the need to find something more meaningful. You will find completeness, but this will only occur when you have returned Home. You must complete your journey with the utmost of devotion and love. And when you do return at my side, you will know the meaning of my words. But do not fret...for I am with you every single moment. Every single breath you take...I also breathe with you".

So I stopped searching for the perfect connection and embraced what I had around me. When I released my expectations, I no longer wanted or needed anything which was beyond reach. I still yearn for the ultimate connection, but then I check my thoughts and channel my energies into areas which will help others around me, and in return help me grow.

So, now I'm back to sitting in front of my computer and speaking to people from across the globe. Often I find some who confront life with the utmost of courage and determination. Others I find have been so beaten by life, because life was harsh to them. What I find most effective in each circumstance is simply to allow people to open up if they wish. In the digital age there is of course a divide, because we can not actually look in the other person's eyes, or feel human warmth through touch, but sometimes all people want is to speak to someone who will not judge them. People eventually always find solutions on their own, and this is the way things should be.

What we seek

Interestingly, I required years to bridge the gap to an answer, but then I only answered the question for myself, and each one must find an answer on their own.

The deep longing which often bubbled to the surface in moments of reflection. The alienation when looking in the mirror and suddenly grasping the fact the person staring at me was not recognizable. Then the overwhelming sensation of looking at the eyes and saying...yes, I do know you, somehow.

We all live with the constant barrier between body and soul. The body forever wanting, needing care, and the elements necessary for survival. But the soul...an endless, boundless fountain of love and knowledge. When nurtured, the soul offered me glimpses of true reality, and the explanations of why I chose this path to learning. But nevertheless a separation persisted, and my discovery I now know will never find the completeness I seek until I've reached the end of this path. I have often touched something which was so engrossing, so tangibly real, and so encompassing in all aspects of the word. But these moments come and go to raise my consciousness, my awareness, and to fuel my never ending search. Also, when these moments arrive, I never want them to end. At one point I was given a crucial piece of information which I lacked my entire life, "You are here to search out the depths of love, but you will never find what you seek, not until you return Home. You must love what you are destined to love". A lengthy and intense growth period was required to understand the meaning, and yet to fully grasp will likely require the rest of my earthly life. Oh but I love to unravel the meaning one piece at a time!. The feeling is akin to a treasure hunt...but this excursion is within me.

I met someone a few years ago (a casual acquaintance), who was so full of life, wonder, and love. But this person was afraid. At one point she offered me a glimpse into the light she had kept concealed and protected. What a revelation!...and what an incredible human being!. Then I understood how much she feared being judged, feared rejection, feared to love. I looked in her eyes, and suddenly saw myself. The moment gave me the courage and understanding to walk down a path I had long feared to tread. Because I knew I was not alone with my feelings. In the end, who is the only person which can truly hurt me, the answer to this day remains...only me.

What we seek is to discover ourselves, and this discovery lies in each encounter, function, role, and gesture we put forth. What we seek is to love and be loved. What we seek is to arrive at the end of the road and say I did all I could...and I tried.

Let go...let be

Yes, I know, easy to say, but hard to do.

I do not lay claim to knowledge you or anyone else does not have at their reach, I can only speak from my experiences, and like each of you these have been hard fought and hard won. I am simply one voice amongst billions, but I will try to speak from the heart, the mind, and spirit...hopefully mostly spirit. I will be here as often time allows me.

My first ever blog concerns to let go, and let be. This by far has been the hardest thing for me to do. When faced with something or especially someone I so deeply loved, and all of a sudden life set a learning experience in my path which had me standing over an abyss, then I reacted as everyone else. I became possessive, hurt, and somehow wronged. But the only thing wrong was my attitude. I do not have any right to control, manipulate, or order as I see fit. Anyone who stands before me and has offered to share their life, does so out of love, or desires to journey with me for a while. And I am honoured and humbled they chose me. The person before me has a soul, as do I, we are connected through mutual experiences. But the light within each of us speaks of higher wisdom, and it's whisperings I must heed. And no, I have not recently lost anyone I love. My thoughts are merely reflections. I do not own anyone, neither does anyone own me. Uniqueness and dignity belongs to each of us. But when I touched the light within me for the first time...oh what a feeling!!!...and how can I then go on living without seeing this same light within others. When I touched this light I was given inspired wisdom, and with this wisdom came respect.

I am but one soul who chose to house within this body for a limited amount of time, to learn and grow. When the hourglass has run it's course, then I will depart.

When confronted with executing the daily tasks of simple existence, it is rather difficult to remain in touch with my centered self. But when a quiet moment is found, the inner promptings and the voice of my soul rises to the surface. When I allow this light to shine forth, then I can, let go...and let be. And when I do, I feel happy, I feel at peace, I have touched something eternal. Something which is so overwhelmingly real and true. Then I see the true light within others.

I love to discover people's beliefs, and I am fascinated with ancient practices and rituals, because these people were so intuned with their environment and surroundings. Unfortunately, as is so often the case, the ego takes precedence over spirit, and greed takes over. In the past, many wholesome and worthwhile beliefs were crushed by institutions seeking dominance and power.

As for me, I love to meditate, I also find solace in nature, and my music. These are the tools which allow me to express myself, and stay in touch with the eternal part of me. In my blogs, at times I will take each of you for a nature walk to discover the hidden treasures no one takes time to notice. At other times I will speak from the depths of my soul to express the light which is me. Or I may simply express humour. You see, I believe we are all connected, and shared experiences is the tie that binds.

Thank you for stopping by and spending these few moments with me...come again, my door is always open.